If you’d asked me years ago what anxiety was, I would’ve said something about panic attacks, social avoidance, or fear of the unknown.
What I wouldn’t have said?
Anxiety looks like me...and maybe you?
The high-achiever. The go-getter.
The person who seems to have it together but is secretly held hostage by an overactive brain.
If I could go back in time and sit my anxious, overachieving, always-several-steps-ahead self down for a serious talk, there’s one thing I’d want to tell her.
Okay, maybe two things, because let’s be honest, I overthought even my own imaginary time-travel pep talk...
I'm going to tell you what I wish someone had told AND explained to me sooner...
"Managing anxiety isn’t the same as dealing with it."
I handled my anxiety. Showed up, got things done, met/exceeded expectations.
But I wasn’t actually dealing with it. I was just managing it well enough to keep going, convincing myself that if I could still function, it couldn’t be that bad.
The problem? Anxiety doesn’t disappear just because you can push through it. It lingers. It shapes your thoughts, steals your rest, and keeps you in a constant state of almost-but-not-quite, like you’re consistently one step behind, no matter how hard you try.
The solution? I told myself I was strong because I could keep going. But strength isn’t just about endurance. Real strength came from slowing down long enough to listen to what my anxiety was trying to tell me. Instead of running from it, I started questioning it. Why was it there? What was I afraid of? What was I avoiding?
Real change won’t come from ignoring it, suppressing it, or muscling through it. It comes when you start facing it head-on, understanding it instead of just surviving it.
Because managing anxiety might keep you afloat, but actually dealing with it? That’s What's Up.
Anxiety won’t reward you with peace.
My Functioning Anxiety convinced me that if I could just control one more thing like, my schedule, my environment, or people’s perceptions of me, then I'd finally feel relief.
But I didn’t. Because anxiety doesn’t work like that. Th goalpost just moved further away.
The problem? This cycle will keep going until you eventually realize that control is an illusion. There will always be another worry, another standard to meet or another plan to make.
The more you chase certainty, the further it slips away. Anxiety thrives on the idea that just a little more effort will finally bring relief, but it never does.
The solution? The only way I stepped off the hamster wheel was when I stopped looking for peace in achievement and start creating it within myself. That meant questioning the stories my anxiety told me. Like the one that said I needed to be perfect to deserve to be happy/safe or that my worth was measured by how much I did.
True peace comes when you stop measuring safety by how much you control and start finding security in your ability to handle whatever comes next. Because the truth is, no amount of planning will ever quiet anxiety, only an unwavering trust in yourself can.
There you have it...now you cant say no one ever told me that...
High-functioning anxiety has a way of convincing you that your struggle isn’t real enough to matter, or that as long as you’re keeping up, pushing through, and hitting your goals, it’s not something you need to address. But I wish someone had explained to me that, managing anxiety is about survival. Dealing with it is about freedom. And that freedom doesn’t come from doing more, planning better, or proving harder. It comes from understanding that you don’t have to earn peace, it’s something you’re allowed to have.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment, send me a message, or share this with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're ready to stop just managing anxiety and start dealing with it, let’s talk. You don’t have to figure it out alone.
What’s the one thing you wish you knew about anxiety sooner? Let’s talk.
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